Today, we’re going to dive deep into the whacky world of KISSING and I’m going to give you a simple 3-step “trick” you can use to let a guy know he should STOP TALKING AND FREAKING KISS YOU ALREADY . . .
I talk about this in this my “How To Kiss A Man To Make Him Fall In Love” video because that’s what it tells you how to do . . . how to kiss a man with so much passion, power and feminine vulnerability he feels his heart cracking open the moment your lips touch his.
(Yes, I know that is a HUGE promise, but it’ll all make sense when you watch the video.)
And now . . .
How To Let Him Know You Want To Be Kissed
“Cassidy, I love your stuff so much but I need your HELP. See, I’ve been on two dates with this guy I really like and he STILL hasn’t kissed me. I don’t know what to do. I think I’ve made it really obvious that I’m interested (why would I go on a second date otherwise?) and he’s a really great guy. Should I just grab him and kiss him? Why is he so nervous? Does this mean he doesn’t actually like me?”
Great questions and I’m glad you asked them.
Let’s just take your questions one at a time (and in an order of my choosing) . . .
1. Why is he so nervous?
You know, for all the years I’ve been doing this relationship advice thing it’s never failed to shock me how clueless women are at how INCREDIBLY FRIGHTENING we are to men.
Yes, yes, I know that YOU think you’re just sweet and approachable and have no idea why big, burly men would be terrified of you but that’s because you’re not in his shoes.
The fact is, to the vast majority of guys (guys who aren’t “players” anyway) being REJECTED by a woman (especially a woman they really like) is one of the most agonizing experiences of their lives.
And the fact that YOU as a woman have the POWER to make them feel such excruciating pain makes you TERRIBLY SCARY to a lot of guys.
I’m sure you’ve also been in situations with guys who can be completely clueless at picking up signals the average woman would think were as subtle as a air raid siren and it’s a recipe for a whole bunch of missed “kissing connections.”
What I’m saying is, the reason he’s so nervous (and it sounds like he really is nervous – nothing else nefarious or weird is going on here) is because:
A. He DOES like you and he’s letting the fact that he likes you mess with his head. I’ve had tons of guys tell me about being in this position before and I can guarantee his internal narrative is something along the lines of:
“I want to kiss her. Does she want me to kiss her? What if I do it wrong? How does she like to be kissed? Man, is this the moment? Is this? How about now? DAMMIT, I think I missed it.”
And then he goes home and gets on the internet and looks at a bunch of “How to know if she wants to be kissed” articles. =-)
B. He knows first kisses are IMPORTANT and that whether there’s “chemistry” in that first kiss or not has a FREAKISH impact on whether you’re ever going to want to see him again.
C. He doesn’t know with absolute certainty if you want him to kiss you and the idea that you might NOT want him to (and that you might pull away, get angry or put him in the “Friend Zone” when he makes a move) has him suffering from terrible KISSING PARALYSIS.
Oh, and there’s a 4th reason he’s nervous that I only reveal in my “How To Kiss A Man To Make Him Fall In Love” video because I honestly can’t explain it here. You can watch it here.
2. So what DO you do to help him get over his fear and hesitation and actually kiss you?
Great question and I’ll answer it right after I say this important thing:
IMPORTANT THING: Whatever you do, do not make the first move to kiss HIM . . .
Yes, I know it’s 2017 and this is “Old School” but guys will tell you that when a woman makes the first move it just messes with every masculine part of them in a way that FREAKS them out.
OK, now that that’s out of the way, let’s lay out EXACTLY how to let a guy know you want him to kiss you (without feeling like you’re making the first move).
We’re going to start with the relatively SUBTLE way of letting a guy know and move on up to “Hit him with a hammer” type methods depending how clueless the guy is.
1. Focus on his lips:
During your date, let him catch you looking at his lips, then his eyes, then his lips again while smiling slightly.
As an added bonus, you can let him catch you staring at his mouth and then look away bashfully like you didn’t “want” to get caught. That kind of “shy coyness” is a classic kissing signal that will let bolder guys know you’re ready to be kissed.
Licking your own lips (like you are wetting them to get ready for a kiss) also works wonders.
2. Wait for “Kissing Moments” and don’t “retreat.”
You’ve seen these cute “kissing moments” all the time in movies. It’s when the hero and heroine get flung across the room by an explosion or whatever and end up laying in a pile on the ground with their faces just INCHES away. They stare into each other’s eyes. They move imperceptibly closer . . . and then the monster comes lunging out of the darkness and the moment is lost.
If you guys are getting “cuddly” at all during a date there are going to be times when your mouths end up in super close proximity.
Now, whatever you do, when these moments happen, don’t push your head forward and kiss him. You want him to COME TO YOU and feel like he made a CHOICE to kiss you (which will make him fell all manly.)
Instead, when those moments happen and you’re within a few inches of him (when you go to give him a hug, when you’re drunkenly leaning on his shoulder, whatever) don’t “back up.” Hold his gaze, look from his lips to his eyes, lick your lips lightly and let your jaw relax like you’re Paris Hilton doing her “pouty girl” pose (you know, the only pose she knows. Whatever happened to her anyway?)
3. Use “Cute and Coy” kiss me phrases.
If a guy just isn’t taking the hint with the more “Subtle” methods its time to actually use some words.
Now, again, YOU DO NOT WANT TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. You’re not going to ask him to kiss you or anything like that (that just takes away your feminine power.)
Instead, you need to wait for or create conversational moments that can lead to you letting him know with 100% certainty that you want him to kiss you, but in a humorous way.
* You stare off into space for a second. He asks “What are you thinking about?” and you smile at him say “Oh, I was just wondering what it’s going to feel like when you kiss me.”
* At a certain point in the date, after he’s impressed you enough to know he’s not some random d-bag . . . just look him in the eye with a smile and say “You can kiss me if you want.”
* Start a conversation about kissing. Say “I just love kissing so much. I heard from this girl Cassidy Lyon that a kiss is a conversation and you can learn so much about somebody by the way they kiss . . .”
Then look at him with a pregnant and meaningful pause while looking at his mouth, then his eyes, then his mouth.
And that’s that. What you’ll notice is that even though you are flat out letting him know you want him to kiss you, you’re still leaving him “In control” of the kiss (and letting him keep his masculine ego.)
Of course, getting him to kiss you is just the start. You also need to know HOW to kiss him in a way that makes fireworks go off in his mind and have him fantasizing about making him yours and only yours forever.
Which is why I want you to stop whatever you’re doing and go watch my “How To Kiss A Man To Make Him Fall In Love” video RIGHT NOW.
It’s really good.
I’m proud of it.